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April Reign

Speak your mind even if your voice shakes

Celebrity Stalking

06/25/2007 by Debra

Usually you hear of celebrities being stalked, however, AR Media has learned of a shocking case of stalking by a celebrity.

Can you tell us what happened Bob?

Well I was just sitting around watching the Jays minding my own business when I thought I heard something on the porch. I opened the door and there was David Suzuki changing my porch bulb.

I was kinda like WTF? Turns out he had engaged the help of the Neighbourhood Association and everyone was turning on their new light bulbs at the same time. It looked sorta cool. I walked with him down the street because I wasn’t too sure of my families safety. He seemed nice enough, told me I had the power, and left. (here is the Neighbourhood Association video)

I thought that was the end of it. A story to tell down at the pub.

Well a couple of weeks later I went down the basement to store some of my priceless treasures when, holy shit, there he is trying to make off with my beer fridge. Well I mean, how can you trust someone that would mess with a guys beer fridge?


David Suzuki caught on security camera

So I ran upstairs and unplugged everything to get the families attention and told them to get out.

AR Media, “Bob do you have any proof of this second stalking incident?”

Hell ya! After the first time I called a security company and they installed a bunch of cameras and alarms. I don’t know how he got past the alarms, but I have it on tape.

You can see file footage of the second incident here

As of press time no charges have been filed. We tried to reach Bob for further comment, however he was out buying more beer.

We will update this story as more details become available.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Bob, comedy, David Suzuki, energy, environment, light bulbs, stalking

About Debra

I am a passionate supporter of human rights, a mother of 6, and owned by a dog and a kitty.
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The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness
~ John Kenneth Galbraith

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