Father:
1. A male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child.
2. A man who adopts a child.
3. A man who raises a child.
Note that regardless of whether an individuals penis was involved the act of raising a child and acting in a “parental” capacity bestows fatherhood. Within a marriage any offspring is automatically considered to be the child of the husband regardless of actual paternity.
My mother told me the story of a woman in their town who had an affair while her husband was off in the war. She became pregnant as a result. When he returned there was no drama and he loved and raised the child as his own. His explanation was that everyone was in crisis and if his wife needed comfort she had a right to it. And because this child issued from the woman he loved it was every bit as much his child. If only such a sensible man could be cloned.
Turning from that to the exact opposite. A post at thescottross wherein he bemoans a man having to continue to make child support payments for what as it turns out are not his biological children. He titles the post this way;
Man Has To Pay Child Support For Someone Else’s Kids
the Globe & Mail leads with
Man who didn’t father twins must pay child support
both are incorrect.
They are not someone else’s kids. He parented them and had a relationship with them he was the only father the now teens have ever known. They are in fact, in deed, and in law his children.
The G&M is also wrong. He did father the children. The only thing he didn’t do is donate the sperm.
Certainly marital infidelity (something far more men engage in) is a serious blow to a relationship, however for this man to turn his back on these girls who did nothing to him is beyond shameful. For others to back him in his abuse of these children is contemptible.
and this bit of drivel is beyond the pale, one only hopes the young women in question do not ever see such putrid scrawlings;
The Grumpy Voter said…
This is just one more in a string of rulings over the past ten years that ensure children receive child support, regardless of the circumstances. While I disagree with the ruling, it’s important to remember the courts look at these issues with priority on “the best interests of the child” as well as the status quo: in short, while what mom did was probably despicable, the status quo is that this man has been paying support for a number of years so to have him suddenly stop paying support would upset the status quo thereby having a negative impact on the best interests of the children. Very simply: courts in Canada RARELY upset the status quo regardless of whether it is child support or custody and access… the status-quo is presumed to be in the best interest of the children and that’s that.
My advice to young men: wrap it up. Wrap it up twice. Don’t shack up with a woman who has kids from a previous relationship because if you act in the place of a parent, you’re liable for child support. Don’t enter into a commonlaw relationship and have kids… ever. You will have no rights as a father. Finally, if you want to get married, do not marry her if she refuses to sign a prenuptial agreement… it’s just not worth the risk.
the Judge’s words
The judge noted that Mr. Cornelio wondered at the time of his separation whether a man named Tony with whom his wife had had an affair might be the father of the children.
“It was not until access was interrupted and Ms. Cornelio commenced proceedings seeking increased child support that the respondent began pursuing this issue,” the judge remarked.
In any event, she said that it would be wrong for the children to suffer for events over which they had no control.
“Mr. Cornelio was the only father the twins knew during the course of the marriage,” Judge van Rensburg said. “The relationship that developed from the time of their birth was the natural relationship between a parent and his children.
“The fact of that relationship – even if it has now become strained – is sufficient to require Mr. Cornelio to continue to contribute toward the children’s material needs.”
Child support, Judge van Rensburg said, is the right of a child even if a parent behaves poorly, “whether it be delay in pursuing support, an attempt to contract out of support, or the failure to disclose an extramarital affair that may have led to the conception of the child.”
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